Jan 23, 2015

I am Human

Very much so-

*note-   Some of you interpreted this post wrong.  This post was not meant to be a "Woe is me post."  I'm not having a bad day nor am I feeling sorry for myself.  I simply wanted to state the fact that sometimes we tend to judge others based on what we see online.  We begin to think they live a beautiful perfect life, while our life, on the other hand, is full of blemishes and trials.  I'm stating for the record that my life is not picture perfect.  Life for me is just like everyone else.  
I have plenty of good days, but I also have plenty of bad.  Heck!  I have days that are both good and bad.
I deal with doubt, bad habits, sadness, and orneriness.  Lack of self-worth can run rampant when I let it.  Some days I feel loved, and other days, I feel like the whole world is against me.
I am not perfect.  My kids are not perfect.  My life is not perfect. 

When I blog, I try to keep things light and positive.  Sometimes I slip, but for the most part, I blog about all the good things that happen, the fun times I've had, the "smiling details" of my life.  I hope I haven't lead anyone astray in doing this.  My life is not an episode of Leave it to Beaver or The Donna Reed Show.  Yes it has good, joyful, perfect moments, but it also has a lot of pain, heartache, disappointment, mistakes, fighting, and dirty dishes.

I do exactly what the prominent author, Arthur C. Brooks observed- "We tend to broadcast the smiling details of our lives but not the hard times at school or work (and might I ad - or our family life).  We portray an incomplete life - sometimes in a self-aggrandizing or fake way."

I hope that I have not lead any to believe that my life is perfect.  It is not.  That has never been my intention.  I hope I have never made you feel bad, or worthless.  My intentions are to build up, never tear down.

I struggle with how personal to get, and what to share and what not to share.  Do I blog about the struggles I'm having with my kid and how some days the heartache I feel from some of their choices knocks me flat on my back?  Or about how not being able to keep up with the piles of laundry, and the messy house are driving me crazy?  Then I think, 'Who wants to read a tired mother of 6 ranting and complaining everyday?"  

What you think about, focus on, and put your energy into is what will control your life.  I don't want a negative, sad, frustrating life.  My goal is to have a positive, happy, fun-filled life, so that is what I choose to focus on, but underneath it all, I am still Human.