Mar 25, 2012


I removed because I got some weird comments.  I've decided to repost it and turn the comments off.  :)

Years ago, I started to not feel so good. I would have long periods of extreme fatigue and just a general feeling of NOT feeling well. I went from doctor to doctor trying to figure out why I felt so bad. Some did blood work others did not, but all of those professionals came up with the same diagnosis. . . . TOO MANY KIDS and all the 'stress' of being a mother to (at the time) 4 kids was causing me too much anxiety and also depression.  That's what was making me tired. I knew that wasn't it. My fatigue wasn't THAT kind of tired. It was more of an "I'm I feel like I'm getting the flu" tired (complete with sore lymph nodes and muscles aches). Plus, I didn't feel overly stressed and I'm pretty sure I would know my own stress level, wouldn' I?

Finally after getting the same diagnosis from several doctors, I finally decided to take their advice and try an antidepressant (anything to make me feel better!).  After being on a particular one for a year plus, I was still tired. So I was put on a different one, still tired. Overall, I tried 8 (maybe more) different antidepressants, with nothing really helping. In the meantime, I had had two more babies. Finally my doctor (at the time) decided that if no drugs were working, I must be so depressed I needed professional help (like from a psychologists-not that there's anything wrong with that. . . ).  I didn't feel depressed, but maybe a severely depressed person feels normal? ? ?  I was (still am) generally happy. Life was good!!!  I came home and told my husband what the doctor said, he laughed.  We both prayed about it, and knew that wasn't the answer either.  So, I just kept taking an anti-depressant.

During all of this, we had a family move into our neighborhood and our Church.  We became friends.  The husband of this family nursed for several doctors at a local clinic.  One day I asked him if he knew what could be wrong with me?  He recommended a doctor to go see. (If I remember the story correctly) She's a nurse practitioner that didn't feel well herself, for years and years.  Each doctor she went to see would dismiss her symptoms as something they were not.  She finally was diagnosed with full-blown Breast Cancer (something she felt could have been prevented if her doctors would have just listened to her)!  After her recovery, she dedicated a practice to Women's Health (real women's health) This new 'doctor' (let's just call her E) ran a million blood tests (ok maybe not that many but the lab drew 17 viles of blood). I had nightmare after nightmare that I would go to my follow-up appoinment and E would tell me the only thing wrong with me was being a mother with too many kids. 
The day of my appointment arrived.  I held my breath and then started to cry when she listed thing after thing that was 'off' in my body, including the culprit of my fatigue. . . . Chronic Epstein Barr Virus (CEBV) a disease a lot of the medical field thinks isnt real.  That was a year ago.  I have spent a lot of time learning to deal with CEBV and what I can do to keep it at a minimal.  Since I've been on an antidepressant for years, E decided I better stay on it (they're nasty little drugs that are really addictive). 

Recently I went to my PCP to get a refill of my addictive little pill.  They were suppose to fax it to my pharmacy, but it never went through.  I'd call and leave a message with the receptionist to have them call me back, but twice it got sent to another doctor.  I eventually ran out of pills.  After not taking them for 3 days, I noticed despite the brain zaps I was constantly having, I had more energy.  I wasn't as tired anymore.  LIGHT BULB!  I googled my medicine and discovered one of the side effects is fatigue.  GENIUS. . .give someone who's suffering from fatigue something that causes fatigue!  I decided to stop taking them, cold turkey.  The withdrawal is/was crazy!!!  Foggy Brain, feeling like I'm having an out-of-body experience, nausea, mild mood swings, and diarreah just to name a few.  The withdrawal is just starting to finally subside.

I'm hoping to finally return to being me,
after a 10 year search.

I guess the whole point of this looonngg story is:
The hand of God is in our lives.  God DOES hear our prayers.  He hears our many pleadings, and our cries.  He will answer them.